Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Un-Pause

I took a break from writing for a while. Partially because life got a little nutso and partially because I was writing for a response. It bugged me if no one commented, and I’d self-criticize that I wrote dumb stuff. This break has been good for me. It’s allowed me to reset and not pressure myself – both in how often I write and in why I write. Am I doing it for others or for myself?

Sometimes being a creative minded person is tricky. For your sanity and lifeblood, you have to create. And yet there’s this weird approval thing that goes along with it at times. Going to Paris sparked my inner creativeness further. People there are somewhat crazy, but I LOVED it! Constantly, in all nooks and crannies of the city, you’ll find people creating. Musicians, mimes, artists, actors, and downright bizarre folks. You see a tiny glimpse of that in New York, but nothing like Paris. I’m sure some of it is exacerbated in the high tourist areas, but it was still fun.

Last week my creativity was spurred in a different way. I had the pleasure of attending a screening for a documentary film called Girl Rising. First, go watch the trailer as it’s awesome and will explain the premise better than I can. In the film, they celebrate the arts and its power in changing lives. It’s so true! I think through my own life and some of the most powerful moments have been expressed through some form of the arts. A song that sets a mood, a photograph that captures a moment, a drawing that expresses what I can’t say, etc.

Anyway, as I’ve reflected on this film and my time in Paris, I’ve realized I cannot be held back by man’s opinions. I create for me. If it impacts another, great. If it doesn’t and yet it helps me either process a moment or exercise the way God wired me, then GREAT! So, I decided to disable comments on the blog so there isn’t a temptation to judge and decided I’m going to write for myself when and if I feel the need; whether it’s frequent or infrequent. I also want to challenge myself to share some of my creative writings, something I don’t do. Actually, I rarely ever even write them; they are ideas or pieces of ideas that swim in my mind. It may take me a while on this one (partially, again, because they live in my mind currently), but maybe it’ll be good to bust them out.

Interestingly, since deciding this yesterday (and not having a moment to share it publicly), I was stirred to respond to something I read in Judges 20 visually. It’s not a good drawing, and definitely would never impress others, but it was cathartic and a sweet break from the “normal” way to respond after reading God’s word. He created me to create, so I think He’s glorified even if He’s the only one who sees it.

So, I’ll be back here and there. And for me, not anyone else.