Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Still you know my heart

There's a song I've been playing quite frequently for the past few months. While I like the whole song, if I'm honest, there's one particular line that is especially impactful. And sometimes I restart the song multiple times, just for this line. It says...

You're the Lord of all Creation, and still you know my heart...

{10 points to anyone who can name the song. Disclaimer: points don't go for anything, except maybe if you so choose to hail yourself as the winner of this challenge because you like to win at things, then that could be good. But only if you don't cheat...}

At least once a week, lately, I've taken time to write-out all of Psalm 139 (if you don't know what it is, I encourage you to look it up). I'm not entirely sure why as I'm not doing a study on this chapter, haven't heard it in a sermon, and am not one of the people who read a Psalm and Proverb every day. One day I just felt like writing it. That day, I'd find myself thinking about it. About who God says I am and how he feels about and sees me. So then a few days later, I'd write it out again. And again find it swirling in my mind throughout the day.

If you really think about it, both this psalm and the line from the song (which is basically taken from the psalm), it's mind boggling. Completely.

The Lord, who made this whoooooole world and all the people in it cares about and knows my heart intimately. Better than me, and better than any person. And not just mine, but every person who has ever and will ever exist.

Sometimes that latter part tempts me to think how ridiculous that notion is. To question why the Lord of everything would care about my heart when surely there are more important people to work in and through. People who have more impact, like great leaders, thinkers, people with huge spheres of influence.

And then I remember what I wrote out. I am made wonderfully. My days are written-out. My sphere of influence may be small in comparison to some people, but it's the sphere he's placed me in. And God tends to use the lowly, the ones who have little influence to do his work. As then he shines.

It really is mind boggling. And so I'll keep on reminding myself to keep the evil one from getting a foothold within an area my mind cannot comprehend. Instead of questioning it's validity or applicability in my life, I'll just let it boggle and deepen trust.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.