Tonight I was reminded what a blessing community is.
One of the biggest things I have learned these last four or so years is that my thoughts can very easily be swayed from truth. For years I responded to people passive aggressively or by negative self-thought purely because I didn't understand this. I was convinced too easily that people didn't like me or that I was annoying or some other thought. While these thoughts do still sprout up, with the help of my community, I am better able to sift through truth and lies.
Tonight at community group we had some hard conversations. Personally, I have battled thoughts that perhaps I wasn't encouraging them anymore and should quit the group. I was near convinced that I was annoying, too complainy, and just plain obnoxious and thereby hurting their growth in the Lord. I thought these things, yet I remained silent, returning to my old behaviors of stuffing feelings.
Then, for whatever reason, I shared what I was thinking. And by sharing, even when it was extremely difficult, I allowed the girls the opportunity to share truth and challenge my thinking. We were able to discuss how to best love each other and broke down walls of protection or misunderstanding that had errected in some hearts.
As I drove home, the verse from Proverbs 14 came to mind:
There is a way that seems right to man, but in the end if leads to death.
Stuffing emotions and remaining silent about feelings seems right to me. Yet the Lord has shown me it breaks unity and creates more hurt than help. He has shown me this truth through the help of my precious community.
I'm eternally grateful for these women, their commitment to the Lord, and their commitment to our group growing more closely to him. Yet another great blessing that came from serving in student ministries.
My cup overflows.