Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Your Love is Like a Sea Without a Shore

Yesterday was a hard day and, sadly, I don't think it'll be confined to just that day. Something occurred that, while I won't go into the details, in and of itself hurt a lot. Yet what hurt more was the Pandora's box of realization of the unfulfilled dreams that I'm walking through. Many tears were shed and many questions were raised. But in all of it, I know without a shadow of a doubt that God is sovereign.

I have been in a wave of learning so much about God's character in these last few months. My hunger for Truth is insatiable and I crave deep time with him daily. I believe with every fabric of my being that the hard things and unfulfilled or shattered dreams brought forth this hunger and desperate grip on the Lord. And that grip has driven me to knowing his word, which has helped me to see today, in the midst of another frustrating circumstance, that he is worthy of praise and uses these circumstances to draw us closer to him.

As I mentioned in my small group retreat update, I heard the new Passion album this weekend. And, in God's most perfect timing, was listening to it fairly non-stop before I heard this news yesterday. Almost instantly, the lyrics to a new David Crowder song held a new meaning. It's called Sometimes. One line in the song says:

It’s Your love that we adore
It’s like a sea without a shore
We’re lost in You, We're lost in You

We laughed about that line over the weekend as David Crowder often talks about water in his music. We quickly dismissed the laughter when we thought about the magnitude of the ocean, it's depth and power, and the frequency with which water references appear in the Bible.

Now, though, I really get it. It doesn't make sense, but I genuinely feel lost in the Lord. The thoughts that cross my mind don't make any sense to me. And the fact that I am committed to seeking after an eternal prize that I don't understand or see instead of a tangible, though temporal, earthly prize is crazy.

Several times in this song (don't worry, I'll post the whole song below) Crowder says "don't be afraid". I can't help but think about when Jesus tells the disciples not to be afraid in the raging storm...for he is with them.

So today, while I know I'll still grieve these unfulfilled dreams and experience hurt, I know at my core that I stand on solid ground. And I serve a God who cares more about my holiness than my happiness. And that makes the hurt and broken dreams worth it.

I'm hoping to take next Friday off work as I have enough overtime hours in order to spend extended time with the Lord. I especially hope it works since Friday marks the anniversary of Jesus' death. What a timely day to reflect on what he's doing, yet cling to the hope that is to come.

Here's the song. I HIGHLY recommend this album. It really rocks and I could talk about all of the songs. :) I hope we start singing them at church soon.

Sometimes every one of us fears
Like we’ll never be healed
Sometimes
Sometimes every one of us aches
Like we’ll never be saved
Sometimes

When we’ve given up
Let your healing come
When theres nothing left
Let your healing come
Til were risin up
Let your healin come
Where You go we will follow
Where You go we will follow

It’s Your love that we adore
It’s like a sea without a shore
We’re lost in You, Were lost in You
It’s Your love that we adore
It’s like a sea without a shore
We’re lost in You, Were lost in You
Sometimes

Sometimes it’s like we never loved home
For all the love we know
Sometimes like in a smile of a song
When you feel it come
Then that feelings gone
It flies

When we’ve given up
Let your healing come
When theres nothing left
Let your healing come
Til were risin up
Let your healin come
Where You go we will follow
Where You go we will follow

It’s your love that we adore
It’s like a sea without a shore
We’re lost in You, Were lost in You
(3x)

Its your love we adore
Its like a sea without a shore
Don’t be afraid, Don’t be afraid

Just set your sail and risk the ocean
Show me grace
Let’s risk the ocean
Show me grace
Let’s risk the ocean
Show me grace
Let’s risk the ocean
Show me grace

Where you go we will follow
I’m on my knees
Where you go we will follow
Oh God send me
Where you go we will follow
I’m on my knees
Where you go we will follow
Oh God send me

It’s your love that we adore
It’s like a sea without a shore
We’re lost in You, Were lost in You
It’s your love that we adore
It’s like a sea without a shore
We’re lost in You, Were lost in You

Where you go we will follow

Where you go we will follow
I’m on my knees
Where you go we will follow
Oh God send me