Friday, January 30, 2009

Clowns, Furs, and Sales

With my job comes the absolute, overwhelming joy of dealing with sales reps.

…sense any sarcasm? In actuality, most sales reps are fine, but there are a select few who I swear make it their goal in life to drive media planners crazy. To give you a glimpse into these crazies, I have put together a list of my favorite, most out-of-control reps in no particular order. You’ll notice we often nickname these folks...

  1. Bill loves to call over and over without leaving messages. Once after I spoke with him, he called again…six times in fifteen minutes. Yes Bill, I will continue to screen your calls.
  2. In spite of the lack of target audience fit and my continual “I’ll call you should something make sense” direction, Greensheet Man proceeds to give me a monthly hello as though he’s never spoken to me.
  3. Creepy McCreeperson called Courtney (she works with me) to see if a children’s hospital client would want to sponsor the homemade kids exercise show he was filming from his backyard. I’m thinking the Dateline crew may need to make a trip to his house…
  4. My jewelry client received a proposal, if you can call it that, from Sleazebag Man to advertise on his highly inappropriate, half-naked women-adorned My Space page. Pretty sure that’s illegal, but he assured us his page would “get the ladies.” He won’t be getting this lady that’s for sure!
  5. Mike the Clown does not provide requested information in a timely fashion nor does he have much fashion sense. He dresses a bit like a clown; complete with bright orange shoes, flashy jewelry, chest-hair-showing shirts, and fluffy hair. For student ministry folks, he reminds me a bit of the romantic puppeteers…
  6. Fur Coat Lady asked if one client would feature a designer fur in their ads. I informed her they are 100% radio and I plan media not wardrobe. She still sent a catalogue with an invitation to come try on some furs. Sweet lady, but very strange nonetheless.
  7. And my all-time favorite is Richard Ivory. He sent a detailed commercial script, including potential dialogue, titled “Pimp My Q.” The synopsis you ask? My car client should pimp-out his Infiniti Q (which he lovingly calls Q) for free since it had 100,000 miles, ending the spot with him receiving the keys and saying “sweet.” It’s so hilarious that Zac, another co-worker, keeps the script in his notebook to pull out on stressful days. Oh Richard…

I think I’m going to write a book.